ImagiNation

Do you really want people to be honest with you?

I always tell my friends and family to be honest with me. For the most part, that's what I want and that's what they want from me. It's been a pretty good system and I'm the kind of person who tries not to take things too personal, because you can simply agree to disagree on some topics. But, and yes there is a but, I don't get where all this negativity comes from when it comes to my boyfriend. On the one hand, they really like him, SO much more than my last one. So this is where my confusion sets in. It seems that every time he comes up in a conversation, it turns out to be something negative and usually it is about little things. Why? With the last boyfriend, I could understand the negative comments because they made it very clear from the beginning that they didn't like him and the comments never seemed to bother me (not to mention he wasn't very likeable around them). With this guy though, it's different- it just feels like they are trying to find things wrong with him or something and I don't understand why. The thing is, I don't want them to stop being honest with me and I appreciate some comments because, after all, I believe love can make you blind.
The main problem I have with these kinds of comments is that it starts to make me jealous- and I am not like that. I believe that jealously is a trust issue. Their comments make me think things that otherwise would not have ever enter my mind OR if I had some of these thoughts, I certainly wouldn't dwell on them AND if they bothered me enough I would bring it up to the boyfriend. It's not like I'm naive or anything, I know shit happens but when I hear these comments over and over again, it makes me question him- it makes me not want to trust him.

Oh and is it SO wrong for me to want to hang out with my boyfriend when I come into town? I am, after all, in a long distance relationship. I don't see him everyday, sometimes weeks go by without seeing him. Yes, I want to hang with my friends as well. So why can't all of us hang out together without there being conflict?? Some friends don't mind this, while others do. It's not like I never had to hang out with their boyfriends, and then again, my other friends can't compare their relationships with mine on some levels (even though they try to) because they were NEVER in a long distance relationship before, so they don't know how much work it takes. I honestly have a hard time trying to juggle every one's request, especially given the fact that I can only come into town on the weekends which gives me limited time. Then after living on very little sleep during those weekends, I drive back home for 4 hours and get up Monday morning to start the week. I'm so exhausted on those Monday's that I seriously consider not going back home because I try my hardest to accommodate everyone and end up not having any fun, only frustration. I know this makes me sound like some selfish asshole but who else am I going to complain to about this? It has become one of those "we agree to disagree" issues with some friends. Plus, I'm going home the next weekend and I have the feeling that I'm going to have to deal with this issue some more.

posted by imagine @ 12:25 PM